Now that Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, is your romantic mood turning up a notch? Feeling frisky perhaps? You are not alone! A recent study revealed that, with or without a partner, 76% of women in the United States participate in self-pleasuring activities, and sexual wellness and education is at an all-time high in 2023, turning this once taboo topic into a trending phenomenon. For instance, ethically-made erotic video streaming services are becoming widely available, clinical sexologists are debuting sex toy collections, sex meditation is the new way to find your Zen, libido vitamins are suddenly popular, and sexual wellness apps featuring everything from fixing your dysfunction or infertility issues, to menses, perimenopausal, or libido support, are becoming more and more common. It could be argued that the traditional, puritanical view of sex as a somewhat shameful and narrow task, assigned just to procreation, is being upended! It seems a new perspective is blossoming that considers education and open communication to be an asset where sexual activities build intimacy, pleasure, relaxation, and indeed, magic.
So What is Sex Magick?
The term “sex magick” originally came from the occultist and English author Aleister Crowley, who was infamous for his scandalous sexual rituals during his pagan ceremonies throughout the early 20th century, many of which involved bisexual behavior and group masturbation. Considering this was during the ultra-conservative Victorian era, his views and practices were regarded by many as subversive at best and appalling at worst. But when you consider the powerful, ecstatic, and yet mysterious sensation of orgasm, it makes sense that he wanted to harness some of that energy to fuel goals and dreams outside of the traditional boudoir, does it not? Magic work, or intention crafting, or manifesting, or the many names behind the word witchcraft – can be done in many kinds of environments. Including between the sheets. And you don’t have to be a witch or a pagan to practice sex magick. However, those who practice the ways of the elements will agree, sex magick should follow the same code as all magic – above all, harm none.
It may seem intimidating, but sex magick happens in three simple steps:
- State what you want or wish.
- Fire up your arousal.
- So mote it be (and so it is).
Done in tandem, threesomes, whateversomes, or alone, what’s important is that it is consensual. Mindfulness during sex is the ultimate key – bringing to the sexual experience a vision, dream, wish, or goal that exists for you outside of your sexual wants and desires. A job promotion. To find a long-term partner. Publish a book. Become a yoga instructor. Move to Peru. Start your own business. Sex magick is the act of pairing the longing of your dream with the spark of sexual pleasure to make that dream come true.
Sex Magick 101
- Brings Tools. You may wish to initiate the experience in a similar way as you would a magic spell, creating an environment in your bedroom (or the room you wish to make love in) that helps you focus on your intention. You can take many approaches, for example, you can light blue candles around your bed to symbolize healing, or place a circle of dried yarrow or salt around it to outline a sacred space. A sensual bath is also a wonderful way to practice sex magick – perhaps with red candles and rose petals to symbolize ambition, passion, love, and romance. What’s important is that whatever herbs, candles, mantras, or symbols you choose, they mean something to you that relates to your wish, dream, or goal and that you are comfortable and relaxed when you begin. Make sure you turn off your phone, give yourself plenty of time to disengage from the world, play your favorite saucy music, turn up the heat so that you’re comfortable as you disrobe, have a warm cup of tea on hand, etc. Other types of tools may also be useful – so don’t shy away from sex toys, edible lubricant, or a faux fur glove, whether you want to use them alone or with a partner. Sex magick is sensual, playful, lazy, and timeless long before it becomes hot, erotic, charged, electric, and ecstatic.
- What is Your Intention? This may seem obvious, but this step should not be brushed over. Be clear and concise in your message. The true trick to any powerful intention is stating it like you already have what you want. For example, instead of saying, “I want to become a romance novelist and make the New York Times Bestsellers List” try saying “I am a successful romance novelist.” With such a clear request, the Universe can do nothing but provide a clear and supportive response.
- Timing. You may choose to think about your dream or wish upon your sexual climax, the explosive moment fueling your momentum and drive, your release feeding the outcome you want. Or you may find that it takes away from your peak. This is a very personal choice. You may choose instead, to meditate dreamily on your vision afterward, when you are in the throes of post-ecstasy. Or perhaps it is best to consider your vision beforehand, as you are building up to the storm, and there are sparks of sexual energy flying. There is no wrong way to practice sex magick and, as you can see, an orgasm is not required.
- Herbs. Consider adding some herbal aphrodisiacs to your sex magick, which can boost your mood and intensify your experience. The Herb Shoppe's Blue Flame Cordial combines red wine with raw local honey, sweet Vanilla and Rose, spicy Clove and Nutmeg, and smoky Cacao for a full palate of flavor, making it easy to imbibe. It also contains Yohimbe, Tribulus, Maca, and Horny Goat Weed, a mixture of potent herbs known to increase sexual vitality by improving libido, increasing overall energy levels, and also increasing blood flow to the sexual organs thus enhancing sexual performance. Damiana adds a floral flavor as well as muscle relaxing effects. And a few drops of Blackberry and Hibiscus flower essence helps you realize your desires and fosters sexual warmth and intimacy. This is a perfect addition to your next sex magick session!
Whether you’re a regular practitioner in the art of divining or conjuring or are just curious about bringing something new into the bedroom, consider the power that sex magick could have on your life with just a few easy steps and a couple of simple tools. That is the potency of magic! So mote it be.